As of 2022, the number of women I have been with is a little over 30 but in speaking with men who have lay counts in the triple digits, I started to learn some things I want to share with my readers. In fact, I have found this to be true even when I was on a hot streak. A lot of what I say are things I have gathered in speaking with men that have a high lay count. While a lot of readers fantasize and daydream about getting with lots of different women, here are five hard truths.
1 – You must do night game and get on the dating apps.
As I have discussed in previous posts, daygame is an awful way to raise your lay count. In order to see true results, you must get on dating apps and do night game a few times a week. Some will talk about social circle but once again, this only applies to the top 1% of social circles where you are connected like Dan Bilzerian. Without money or a niche like being a DJ/promoter, you cannot realistically do social circle game. The quickest and really the only way to get a high lay count is to get on the apps and go out to clubs and bars at nights.
For most men, I would argue that the most straightforward and realistic path to get a lot of lays is to have a quality online dating profile. Invest the hundreds in a good lifestyle photographer (don’t be cheap here!), get in shape yourself, and have quality photos taken. You might be better served paying for dating apps and using the given boosts or visibility to match with more women. The best part here is that online dating does not impact your quality of life.
I am not the biggest fan of nightlife because you stay out so late and it messes with your sleep schedule. A lot of men who have things to do and need to focus on their careers cannot afford the luxury of constantly going out every weekend. Plus, I find that it is tough to genuinely enjoy nightlife or fit in well with the environment if you are completely sober. The other downfall is that clubs and bars are likely to attract a lot of toxic women who do drugs and hang out with sketchy people. When alcohol is involved, things can easily go south if she has buyer’s remorse after hooking up with you. Tread carefully.
2 – You must lower your standards.
A few coaches out there sell this fantasy of how students can get with a hundred different model material women a year. Let’s just do a realistic take on why that is unrealistic. Go to any major US city, even places like Manhattan and South Beach in Miami, and try to see how many women you will run into that are above a 7 on the looks scale. Go to a nightclub that isn’t hyper-exclusive in any major city or go to a college town. What you will find is that 9s and 10s really aren’t all that common. Most women you see at nightclubs and bars are in the 6 to 7 range with the occasional 8 or 9 thrown in.
Now let’s dig deeper. Say out of 100 women in a given venue, maybe 10 of them fall into that top-tier quality of being really hot (9s or 10s as some say). Out of those 10, about 5 are going to either be taken or just almost impossible to game because they don’t want to be gamed. Maybe 5 are open to being gamed but even if they are, it depends on a variety of factors such as whether or not you are her type that night or if she is into you.
A guy with tight game might be able to get a 20% close rate (including numbers and up to pulling/closing) out of 10 women and I mean guys who are really good with this stuff. Now reduce that number to 5, even the best guy would be lucky to get 1 close. As you can see, it is unrealistic. Almost all guys with high lay counts have been with a number of average/ugly women, a good chunk of above-average looking women/women you can get with while sober yourself, and maybe a handful of hot girls.
3 – You must have the logistics.
Ideally, a spot near the venue itself and no further than 10 minutes away. Without the logistics, you are throwing shit at a wall until something sticks and just hoping she is desperate enough to get with you that night to where she will fuck you in her car. Most women will just opt to go for a guy with a place nearby. How do most men get the logistics? Well, they usually have their shit together which most guys in pickup don’t (more on that later). A lot of these men live near all the action and can afford to because they actually cared to get their career/business right rather than mindlessly spam approaching.
Without the logistics, you are toast. Will you occasionally get girls that will go out an hour away to meet you? Yes. However, it won’t be the norm and you will lose out on more lays than you actually win because of your poor logistics. I think most guys are better served getting their shit together and finances in order before they pursue a high lay count life. However, there is an exception to this rule.
Guys that work in nightlife or work a job like a club promoter, DJ, bouncer at a nightclub, or bartender at a cool venue get a pass. A lot of these guys might not make top dollar (though some bartenders can really make bank) but their situation is set up to where they can still pull anyways. If you have a job or lifestyle that puts you around a lot of hot and loose women, then you don’t necessarily need to have your shit together. However, get comfortable sleeping on couches if you want to live in the coolest part of town.
Logistics also mean moving to a major city with a great hookup scene. You are not going to get with a lot of different women if you are stuck in the suburbs or small towns. Guys may claim they made it work but I often find for the few that did, they had a major social circle that happened by dumb luck or were usually in a town that is good for vacations/getaways.
4 – You must be fuckable yourself.
A tough pill to swallow for most men. You have to be in decent enough shape even if you don’t have six-pack abs. The better you look though, the easier it gets. You must invest a lot in your style, appearance, and the way you carry yourself. On top of this, you must also mostly have your shit together unless you have a job where being around a lot of hot girls is a part of the job (examples mentioned earlier). In other words, you must have a proper foundation along with decent enough game to pull.
The aspect that doesn’t get mentioned here is social skills and the way you come off. Most pickup artists or guys into pickup are very weird guys that girls would be embarrassed to introduce to their friends. Quite a few guys in pickup struggle with clinginess, fail to see how they come across to others and are often value leeches who will try to take from everyone but never give anything in return. Women can sense a lot of this in a guy and can tell immediately when you approach them whether you are a socially calibrated guy or just some spam approaching weirdo; most pickup guys are the latter.
5 – Most men are just not set up to do it.
How many men have the things I listed above? More importantly, how many guys who get into pickup tick all if not most of the boxes above? I’d say less than 20% and I am being nice here. There is a reason why men pay thousands for bootcamps/seminars, spend years on pickup forums, and seem to know theory/nature of women to where they can debate with you all day, but for some reason end up being miserable incels or just nowhere close to a high lay count. Well, it’s because it is a lot of work and often times, it is easier to just debate on pickup communities all day about all you know.
I am going to also put some blame on myself here as I am not at a triple-digit lay count. While I do have a lot of the above covered, I have put more focus on quality over quantity which is one of the main reasons my lay count has suffered. In past years, I was also in my own head a lot and didn’t actively work on game which I do regret.
However, I have seen men come into the game time and time again only to be burnt out, leave miserable, or just not see any success. The reason is not just due to game alone, there are other factors you are missing. The amount of work it takes to get to the point where you can realistically pull this off is just too much for most men out there. Most guys are just going to sit there, debate theory all day, and not put in the hard work of realizing their mistakes and making adjustments.
The vast majority of men are better served putting in some serious time on self-development. What this means is getting in the gym, looking better, working on improving their careers/business/source of income, and learning some social skills. After a decent enough foundation is built, you can go out to do game and approach women where you will actually see a higher return on your investment.
