The Story of Millennial Bachelor: A Foundation (Part 3)

As much abuse as I endured from my father in my middle school years, I was grateful to have Nick as a friend. Whenever you look back to how you turned out as a man, you start to ask what specifically from your past led to you turning out the way you did. The formative years of childhood and adolescence, they stay with you. You don’t realize it until you really look into them but overtime, you find that what happened and the things you did impact the man you turn out to be in most cases.

You see, I hung out with the kids in my apartment complex but they were mainly nerdy Asian kids. Now in a way, that has its upsides as my grades were good and I took academics seriously enough. However, if that is all I ever hung out with, who knows how far back my game might have been set? I cannot even start to imagine.

Nick was the All American friend I had and staying over at his house exposed me to something that would lay a foundation I was not even aware of at that time. In my youth, I guess I was always kind of a horny guy but I repressed it. By having Nick as a friend, I was able to explore something I thought of at the time as a woman’s beauty. Nick introduced me to shows like Howard Stern and for those of you that remember, Man’s Show with the juggies. We were still growing up in times back then where you couldn’t log on to the internet to watch porn like you can today.

Back then, you had to wait for the right channel late enough at night to see a chick strip almost nude. Middle school was when I actually started exploring pussy. I still think back to computer class when some of the kids would go on Newgrounds and play porn games. One that still sticks with me is when this one Dominican dude I was friends with got busted for playing a porn game during computer class and the teacher basically logged into his screen (from his own screen due to admin privileges I guess) and posted “nope, busted”. We all found it funny as the poor guy got written up and had detention for a week.

Hanging out at Nick’s house was conversations loaded with what celeb we would love to fuck and trying to get our hands on whatever nudes of hot chicks or porn we could. Back then, we were still in a time when Pornhub didn’t exist so you had to hunt for whatever sexy pics of hot girls you could. The WWE definitely played a role in giving me some of my biggest sexual fantasies, particularly Stacy Keibler, Torrie Wilson, and Trish Stratus. Come to think of it, I probably developed a thing for blondes due to the WWE but Candice was a stunner so I still kept a thing for brunettes.

Meanwhile, I got into exploring sites like Newgrounds and 2Adultflashgames. Porn back then was different and so were the nude games, one that sticks with me is Boobs Butt and Shoulder. I know, I sound like some horny loser kid that couldn’t get laid. However, I am somehow grateful that I could at least think about pussy and hot women back then instead of being super dorky like the Asian kids in my community. Nick was such a solid friend that gave me the foundation to have strong confidence and see myself as that douchey American guy.

In life, the people we run into during our formative years ultimately shape who we end up being; I think that has a big impact on how successful we become. I didn’t suffer with limiting beliefs about my background and even if I did, they had a weak foundation. Meanwhile, I see so many immigrant kids and even kids from a lot of Asian backgrounds suffer from legitimate limiting beliefs about race holding them back from success. A lot of those kids probably grew up around others just like them and spent the days feeling sorry for themselves, hence having a weak foundation for game in the future. I don’t think most of these guys will change and are royally screwed with dating as adults.

Two other friends that stick with me are Grayson and Scott. Grayson in particular was this no-nonsense Southern white guy who would beat you down to pieces if you ever pissed him off. I saw Grayson get into a couple of fights in my time in Middle School where he practically destroyed the other kid. Scott was more outspoken but not quite the one to get into a fight as much. The person that reminds me of Grayson the most is MMA Fighter Chael Sonnen, it is like they were almost carbon copies of each other.

Despite having a father that tried his hardest to make me submissive, I think I still had the fight in me due to the friends I had. I could never stand up to my father at the time because, well, he was my father. However, I took nonsense from almost no one in my middle school days except for a couple of situations. Come to think of it, I was not scared of the confrontation. What I was scared of were my overly protective parents doing something radical to punish me, like sending me back to India. Such is the thing with crazy people like my father, you can never predict them.

The reason this was so key in my development is because I think if I just hung out with the Asian kids in my community, I would have likely gone to a great university but been the typical STEM kid there. Get good grades, get an engineering job, but pure Big Bang Theory from there on out. Somehow, hanging out a lot with Nick got me thinking about hot women and how much I would have wanted one. Whenever my parents went grocery shopping, I would look at whatever porn I could on my computer (and learned how to delete my history).

Even as bad as porn is said to be (long-term, it is bad for your mind), it at least got me thinking about women. In Augusta, the quality was mostly lacking. In my middle school, the average girl looked like she was straight out of World Star or related to Honey Boo Boo. I also started to get more into sports during my middle school days and that made me somewhat relatable. I wanted to play sports as well because well, it seemed fun.

Then came high school and I got into one of the charter schools. The downside is that the school had no sports at all because it was a charter school. High school years for me were miserable as well because I had no outlet for my built up urges. I had grown apart from my friends such as Nick and had no legitimate friends to lean on early on in my days. The average girl wasn’t that hot compared to the girls in the neighboring district and we had no sports. For my dad, this was ideal, he hated sports and thought athletes were stupid and worthless to society. Yeah, he thought that somehow he was contributing more to society while being grossly fat but we will get more to that later on.

The other good outlet I found for my competitive juices in middle school and high school was Xbox Live. I know, everyone laughs at it but it was good to play Call Of Duty or Halo online, throw some F bombs around, have some intense trash talk, hear little kids (really everyone) liberally dropping the N Bomb, and seeing men going at it with their intense trash talk. For me, it was escapism and an outlet to let out my competitive juices. No, it was not nearly as good as playing an actual sport but I got my competitive juices out that way. Made a couple of good friends on Xbox Live as well.

I also got into Myspace during those days, back in the days when social media was born but never took off like it has now. Given that there was nothing in my town, I looked at the forums on the site which had some interesting stuff going on. I learned how I felt closer to strangers online than I ever did to the locals in my town. You could have intellectual debates and there were also a good bit of hot girls who were regulars in some of those communities. No, they weren’t catfish, they were actual people with proof. I remember a couple of forum members even meeting up in real life but I could never do that.

Even before it became a thing for society at large, it became a thing for me. I found Xbox Live, Myspace, and the internet as my own little escape from a miserable high school experience. Little did I know at the time that the internet would play a huge role in how my life ended up. I would go to class, go home, and only looked forward to getting on the computer and talking to my e-friends. Too much truth for you but whatever. I only fantasized about how much I wanted to get away from Augusta and go to an LA, New York, Chicago, or wherever. I remember fantasizing about this, daily.

During my sophomore year of high school, my dad was deciding on a house and teased the idea of getting one in the good district. In fact, he even said that he was thinking of moving to LA or NY or somewhere else, something that excited me like crazy. I remember being filled with joy. Maybe I will enjoy being at a school with sports and some cool kids. However, it was a tease and that was all short lived. We bought a house in the same district, stayed in the miserable district we were in and I relegated my life to just that. One thing that did happen is that after my sophomore year, I started losing weight like crazy. I would drop about 20 lbs or so by the end of high school.

As high school went on, things got better for me. I was getting along more with my classmates and making some friends. Me and Nick had grown apart as he was going to a private school. I remember in my junior year fantasizing hard about life up north whether it was in New York or Boston. Finally, I might actually get to experience a winter rather than four different types of humid summers. I hated almost everything about Georgia because back then, it was a bumfuck assbackwards state to me.

I applied to some decent universities and I even got in. However, my dad went from being happy to pay (or acting like it) to convincing me that if I only stick it out at a local commuter campus, I could go to a great college up north. My grades in high school were somewhat mediocre (3.4 GPA which somehow put me in the top 20% of my class) while my SATs were above average (1290 on Math + Reading). I thought my dad had a point that if I could stay at a local commuter campus and get my grades up, I could transfer to a good university. Now started the next chapter of my life and one that would teach me more lessons about human nature than any other.

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