So here I was, in my final day in Augusta as I prepared for my flight to NYC. My parents drove me to the airport but before I got on, I felt it. I hugged my parents and something hit me then and there. This is what college was supposed to feel like for me. I was supposed to experience this at the age of eighteen. Being a college freshman was supposed to feel like this very thing but it was like here I was having that feeling, one that I probably knew little about since I never experienced it, for the first time of my life. The plane took off and arrived but as it came to NYC, I saw it.
We were in the air and I saw all that was below from the various islands to the tall skyscrapers. I remember playing Empire State Of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys on my iPhone as I looked through my window seat. The skyscrapers during that day, they looked so beautiful and to think that I was going to be living here and not visiting! I called my Uber and this buff Dominican guy drove me from La Guardia to the city.
La Guardia is in Queens so as you look out, you see a lot of torn down houses and unpleasant sites. Then we arrived in Manhattan on that cold winter day and drove through it. The tall skyscrapers and busy streets were a contrast from what was in Queens and you felt it, you were in NYC. I got off on Murray Hill where I was to meet my AirBnB host, this beautiful Brazilian woman. From there, I got to my AirBnB and met my roommate who was this Indian dude that used to work at Goldman Sachs. Apparently, the guy went to Berkeley and did well at Goldman but wanted to move on.
My roommate traveled throughout Europe for a month before coming back and getting ready for his new job. The guy was going to move to an apartment soon but he needed to stay somewhere in the meantime. I started to look for various apartments and had some tough decisions to make. In the meantime, I went out to a bar nearby and ended up hooking this cute brunette. Just going out for the first time in NYC was a different vibe itself, it was unreal. Just the atmosphere felt more higher class and important than anything I had experienced in Atlanta.
For one, the girls were much much hotter. The people in general were a lot prettier than even those in the finest areas of Atlanta. Somehow, we get police officers (or really some kind of law enforcement) coming to our apartment and checking. Apparently, someone had told on us and said that we were in an AirBnB. I suspect it may have been the nosy Asian delivery guy who had a very sketchy look to him. It made me move fast and I moved on an apartment in the LES that was near a bunch of bars.
The apartment itself was dirty with the bath tub stained and my roommates leaving expired food in the refrigerator. For the entirety of that time, I ate out. My job would start soon but I won’t bore you with work details. Instead, I will give you some quick cliff notes about it. A boss I thought was a cool guy ended up being a total scumbag but I met two coworkers who would become some of my closest friends in the city. I actually thought that the boss I had was a cool dude because of how much he tried to be my friend and my boss but that changed months down the road.
Going back in the story, my second month in NYC I had a date with this tall skinny brunette that I would take home that same night and smash. To that point, she had been my best fuck for quite some time. Her skinny frame, skin that tanned easily, blue eyes, and Mediterranean appearance just did it for me. I loved how her body would rub against mines and it added some arousing friction. A couple of months later, I started looking at new places and linked up with this French dude on Craigslist. The place was going to be in Murray Hill and it was one of four bedrooms.
I took the place where I had this Turkish dude as my only roommate. Things seemed tame for a bit but after a couple of months, he had to move out. In his place, I got a roommate who was this Colombian dude named Marcos. We clicked well but we also got this Indian roommate with really bad hygiene who was doing some borderline illegal things. Marcos got him reported and he got kicked out soon enough. For that month, it was just me and Marcos and things seemed calm.
On my Discord group, which had influenced me to move to NYC, I made friends with some guy named Taylor. Taylor was somewhat odd but he hung out with me so I give him props for that. I would have to go to Hoboken often to see him and despite being a tall white dude, he was somewhat strange in how he interacted with women. Still, I had a friend to go out, game and drink with, something I could not manage to get in Atlanta.
At one point, I took up a Reddit networking invite which was taking place at a bar. I went and there were a lot of people, mainly all dudes. In that event, I clicked well with three folks. All we talked about was traveling and pussy, just disregarding what anyone else had to say about it. One friend I would make was a friend that would become a close buddy of mines in the entirety of my time in NYC, a dude named Jordan. Jordan was a muscular blond guy from Connecticut who was well-spoken and an upbeat guy overall.
Jordan and I hung out almost every weekend and go out to the best bars and clubs in the city. As for my own place, things would get interesting. At first, this Mexican dude moved in and he seemed dismissive of me. One night, I get asked to meet with a guy called Tim who would be our final roommate. Tim and I clicked well and he would move in a week later which would start some wild times that you can read about here.
Tim was dirty and wild but he got laid, a lot. As strange as it sounded at the time, I didn’t even know guys like that existed. I grew up down south where every other guy was a Bible Thumper preaching about how sex before marriage was a sin and most just struggled with women if they didn’t use a social circle. Tim went out to bars every week and pulled girls back to our place. Initially, all of the roommates liked Tim. Overtime, Tim and Marcos started to beef which led to a lot of roommate drama.
You could hear Tim fucking in the room nearby almost every week with a new girl. In some ways, he made me want to step my game up as I had become too invested in my job to even bother going out. I would still send my father angry letters over the abuse he had put me through.
I’d hit it off with this one Asian girl who on the second date, allowed me to see her friends for a night out. The third date, I would try to smash but could not get it up as much. I felt frustrated because I could not control my schedule even though I was getting matches like crazy on the dating apps. All of it was too much for me from moving to NYC to controlling my career to trying to make up for lost time. I would not get my shit together for real until about eight months into the city.
However, in that time, I still pulled four different times and it always seemed to be at the place of the girl instead of back at our place. I hit it off well with this Indian MILF from London and saw her multiple times. She had beautiful olive skin, a nice ass, and was one of the finest women I had slept with. The British accent just made sex spicier for me for some reason but at times, I would have problems getting it up. I was starting to slowly realize that I might have a health condition that needs looking into and started to get some bloodwork done, only to find all of it coming back normal.
In that time, I was also starting to slowly cold approach more and take it somewhat seriously. However, most nights I would rely on alcohol and boldness to do the trick. I was guilty of binge drinking and hoping that I would get lucky which happened sometimes. Occasionally, I did pull but the quality left a lot to be desired. As fun as times were with my roommates and the drama that ensued, I eventually found a good living situation with another roommate in East Village. I would move in with a guy from Florida called Jake and we lucked out with a luxury apartment in East Village.
Jordan and I went out more every week to run game but together as a team, we never seemed to pull as much. Our friendship was still strong though and we even traveled to Montreal together. I felt the same way in NYC that I did in Atlanta but it was somewhat different. In Atlanta, I was bitter because I felt that the guys getting hot girls had social connections which made girls overlook their many flaws. In NYC, I was bitter towards myself because I felt that I was holding myself back. I felt like The Hulk on Infinity War, I could not unleash my true inner beast in NYC.
The opportunities were all right in front of me but the old PUA me had somehow just left in that time. I was not as aggressive in approaching and I just stood there on a lot of nights out. I feel like all that had happened in the past few years had weighed on me mentally to where the man who was in NYC was at maybe 60% of his true potential. Even at 60%, I managed to get to a point where I was pulling regularly enough but I was not having the best sex. I knew that this was a health problem and decided to see a couple of doctors who found my blood work to be okay. What was it?
However, that time in East Village was amazing. I was near Bowery and due to not giving a fuck about my job as much, I’d go out more on weekdays. I’d go out on weekdays to find some of the most beautiful women and slowly, I started to come into form and approach them. I remember the one night I found a wing at the bar, approached this two-set of the hottest girls in the venue, and took home the dark-haired girl while my wing got with the blonde. The dating apps were still kind to me so I had a date at least once every two weeks and managed to smash every now and then. My lay count was well into the twenties in my time in NYC and this despite me not even being halfway decent with night game or even practicing day game.
Looking back at it, I clearly missed out. I should have at least taken PUA seriously and done some approaches but online dating fed me. Even with game and cold approaching, I was very on and off. I had nights when I would go out and go with the flow, approaching and even managing to bring a girl home thanks to some liquid courage in me. It still bit at me that this was not it though. I was way too in my own head and a far cry from the cold approacher I knew that I could be. Outside of getting drunk, I didn’t have it in me to approach like I did even in my years in Atlanta.
I think back to my years in NYC and how much I felt like The Hulk on Avengers Infinity War. Life before NYC was my Thanos, it had beat the Hulk out of me. Mentally, I was still somewhat in a space of trying to be popular and trying to be important. However, over time, it started to slowly wear off. At some point, due to the connections I had made, I had a big enough social circle.
I was cool with the staff at a lot of nightlife establishments in the LES and I had a lot of friends. It hit me again, we were all in our twenties and partying hard. Some were in their thirties and still drinking and partying, this is what college was supposed to be like! One night that sticks with me is when we went out as a group and ran into the snobby Indian guy from my college days. Since I had girls with me, some of his friends pretended to know me but I ignored them. They got aggressive but the bouncer had my back and kicked them out. The fools tried to pick a fight with the bouncer and got their asses kicked.
At this point, so much happened in my years in NYC that I cannot even recall everything perfectly. So much life that I had missed out on and so much of everything got jam-packed into those years. I got laid more in NYC than in any other city despite not being at my best. I could have had so much more quality and competed against a lot of the top guys in the city but I was constantly my own worst enemy and in my own head.
One thing that gets me in my years in NYC is how much I let other dudes occasionally AMOG me whether at work, in social life, or occasionally in game. I ran into a lot of guys that tried to push me around and a lot of times, I was not strong enough to push back. I was not socially dominant in situations and not as outspoken as I was used to being. I guess I had gone through so much shit earlier in my career like the gaslighting at work in my time in Atlanta that it took the fight out of me. Ironically, the NYC me just wanted peace from all of the shit I had gone through well before my time in NYC. I have no doubt that my lack of social dominance and not being the usual outspoken version of myself led to me not hitting my potential in NYC.
I came to NYC as a broken man looking for answers. Jordan and I promised that our first year being friends was a rebuilding year. However, as our second year progressed, the pandemic hit. I may have found a newer and higher paying job but NYC became a shadow of itself. My East Village apartment was not going to be renewed because Jake wanted out due to the pandemic. I moved to the UES and mostly just focused on my job.
One coworker troubled me like none other but I kept going. I had never endured as much disrespect as I did than working for her, it made me confront a lot of personal demons about myself. Towards the end of that year, I’d join my family on Christmas Eve. My Dad opened up over emails and we bonded, mostly getting along now. The career I had was going well and it seemed like things were slowly on the right track.
Then, a month later, I got hit with some rough news. One morning, I get a call that my Dad had been taken to the hospital by an ambulance and an hour later, he passed away. I broke down crying by instinct. I felt sad but deep down, I did not really know how to really feel. I wasn’t happy about this but most of all, here was a man who put me through more abuse in life than anyone I have ever known. Finally, we were starting to open up to each other and get along but before we could complete anything else, he passed away.
My family cried and the following months were sad. I took my anger out on my mother for a few months because she still embodied that abusive childhood and had a role in it. Somehow, I felt like I had gotten away from that dangerous culture and toxic family. My poor mother, she had gone through so much, and there I was angry at her now. My parents had a complicated relationship so I directed my anger at my mom for making my dad miserable. I saw myself as above it all because I got out but then something hit me.
I came to my senses and realized that wherever I was going was not the way. The drinking, the thoughts of social importance, chasing status, being angry at the past, and directing my anger at my mom. I am not sure what came over me but it was a transformation. At some point, I changed and realized that the path I was heading down was a dark one. I apologized to my mother and tried to call her as much as possible. I tried to improve her mood every chance I got and she forgave me.
My family and I said “I love you” to each other as much as possible. I tried to only bring good moods and good times whenever I visited my mom and I visited her often. From the madness of the world with the mandates going on and the political craziness, I tried to find solace in my family and my parents. I wished my mom well at every turn and my hatred towards her and what my family put me through slowly faded away.
Things in NYC got crazy, really crazy, and most of my friends had left. Pandemic pricing was no longer around for apartments so I tried to look for a second job as a bartender. I got the job but the place was so awful that after two weeks, I quit. I knew that at this point, I could not keep doing what I was doing. Living in rundown apartments in Manhattan with roommates and trying to live the fast life in the city. Even the locals had become unbearable after the mandates came and I was asking what I was still doing in the city.
After some tough decisions, I decided that I was going to move to Miami. I packed my things up and it was just so anti-climatic in a way. I remember that cold night where I was packing stuff into my suit case and making sure I left nothing in my empty apartment. I got into an Uber driven by some African dude and there it was, me saying goodbye to NYC. My flight was very early in the morning and I realized that the line for checking my bag was quite long. I was going to miss the flight because when I got to the desk, I didn’t have the tags but luckily one good woman working covered me and handled it for me.
So there I was, leaving NYC and arriving in Miami. I left NYC a far different man than the one I came in as. I left NYC as a changed man with a stronger mindset. The version of me that came to NYC was obsessed with trying to fit in, be cool, have a lot of friends, and all of that. However, the version of me that left NYC had shed that need for validation and started to realize what really mattered.
I came to NYC as a broken man from all of those years of abuse in my youth but I left a changed man. Mentally, I was no longer that validation seeking kid that came to NYC broken. However, I knew that unless death came to me earlier than I wanted (which could happen given my health right now), I was one day going to come back to NYC. I was going to come back to NYC as a better me and as a better version of myself. I was going to come back to NYC one day as a better man than the one that came in.
NYC made me stronger and it showed me all that was possible. I left the city realizing what is possible and how it is all bigger than some clique in a college town or social circle in a second tier city. After leaving NYC, I realized how I was chasing the wrong things and what is really out there. I had drinks, networked with, and partied with a lot of great people going places in life. When I left NYC, I made myself a promise that the version of me from Miami will one day come back and have a better experience.
I still have not told my entire story word for word but I can say that my story is mostly finished her. The next part is going to talk about what I do these days and what I am up to. So much happened towards the end of my twenties and my time in NYC that I could not possibly fit it into even a six part tale. However, one day I might write more in-depth about my time in NYC and share it in an E-book.
Given my health right now and what I may get diagnosed with, I am not sure how much time I have left on this earth. I live every day to the fullest now until I can finally go see a doctor when my health insurance kicks in next month (good ole America). My gut tells me that whatever news I get or whatever I get diagnosed with, it won’t be good news. In no other time of my life have I hoped to be as wrong as I am right now. If I can get just five more years to live, I know I can do a lot but in case I can’t, I will share more with you guys.
However, I can say with pride that from what I came from and went through, I am proud of the man I became in life. I was supposed to have been the guy that died in flyover country or never amounted to much. I was supposed to be at the feet of an abusive father and having my twenties end in me being stuck in Podunk. However, thanks to the people I came across and fate, the narrative changed. I lived in NYC for years and survived, coming out a changed man. This is what college was supposed to do to me but it didn’t.
Who knows what happens in 2023 but I know that it is going to be a rough year for me. However, I also know that the version of me that comes out of 2023 as a survivor is going to be a better version of me than ever before. If I get surprising good news, then I intend to make 2023 my best year yet and life moving forward even better.
I am Millennial Bachelor and this is my story. Sure, it may have seemed rushed and I packed a lot in there but I had to get it done. In case anything ever happens to me, I wanted al of you to know me. More posts to come as long as I am alive, including any health updates on my end when I can finally see the doctor in January. Until then, stay tuned for what I am up to these days and maybe I will add more to my stories from my past.