Over the past decade, I have gone from Incel to a guy who does well with women. Throughout the decade, I have noticed major shifts in the way I operate and see the world now that I am doing better with women as opposed to struggling. At the time, I realized after noticing the shifts that I was heading in the right direction. If you notice these things in yourself, you are on the path to actually getting better with women.
You hate wasting time in all areas of your life and start becoming selfishly efficient.
There is a reason why a lot of the best players in the game don’t have too many friends. The reality is that most of your friends will drag you down and waste your time. You see little fun in drinking yourself to a hangover over a football game. You start to not waste your time at venues that are unfruitful to you and your goals. You start to waste less time around people that will not get you to where you need to get to.
If you are going out to game, you are not wasting time all night making small talk with other guys and drinking. You go out to approach, get your reps in, and see how you can strike gold. You are there for a reason and you are honest about that with yourself. You value your time too much to waste it on pointless small talk.
Nowhere else do you see this more than on Pickup Forums and Pickup Communities. The guys that want to do well are those who constantly put up Field Reports and take action rather than wasting countless hours on BS debates or theory. Long term, the guys who will get ahead will be the ones putting in the work and taking action. The ones who will rot away with nothing to show are those that debated theory all day.
Your tolerance for BS, weakness, and excuses goes way down.
Old you would have engaged with the depressed Incel and attempted to relate to him. Old you would have felt sorry for the guy crying about how tough dating is. Old you would have even tried to befriend the depressed Incel because you would have thought you all were bros. The new you? Not so much.
You start to realize that most men complaining are making excuses and are otherwise weak men. You start to realize how much of a drain on society most of these men are and start to avoid them yourself. You start to see why a lot of nightclubs will not let these losers in. Most of all, you know the dark truth behind a lot of the “Nice Guys” and how a lot of them can actually be downright awful people.
You start to realize why society actually treats most “Nice Guys”, Incels, and the average thirsty guy like shit and are happy it does.
At first, you thought it was unfair but then you realized that society has a purpose for what it does. You start to realize that women are aware of just how evil and sinister most “Nice Guys” can be and avoid them for good reason. You start to see how the average thirsty dude can bring down the value in a venue fast and then realize why venues charge them such a high fee for entrance.
Slowly, you start to realize that not only are most of these men a drag on society, they also aren’t your friends. You realize that these “bros” will turn on each other fast if a hot girl is involved. In most cases, you start to see that society operates the way it does because it usually works. If a nightclub let in every average dude, it would be a sausagefest full of thirsty guys validating women and inflating their egos.
Men that have made it think differently. A lot of them realize that the average guy is their enemy and only a small number of men are their friends. A lot of them see how most male friendships can be dangerous and vet their male friends carefully. You will start to do this as well.
You choose not to deal with most men and consider them a waste of time, your need for social validation goes down.
When I sucked with women, I would try to make small talk with guys at a bar if I was watching a football game or sporting event. Some of it came from a place of needing guy friends and hoping that maybe I can meet girls through these guys. I would try to make a lot of friends and build a “social circle” in the hopes of being popular. My hope was that I would meet friends and women through these circles.
I was wasting my time and too scared of the fact that deep down inside, I was too much of a pussy to strike up a conversation with an attractive woman. I see this too much in the space right now and the amount of “Social Circle” gurus now coming out to preach to men about the value of “Social Circle Game”. Here is the reality, what Dan Bilzerian pulled off (which many say is basically paying escorts) is the kind of shit that will be really tough for most men to pull off.
While I do admit that someone in Dan Bilzerian’s shoes will have it easy, getting there is really really tough. It is countless hours spent monitoring your social media presence and throwing events where you have to vet people carefully. The payoffs are not going to be immediate! For most men, cold approach and online dating are the only realistic options for meeting women.
When you realize this, you start to realize that most male friendships are also a waste of time. Your drunk friends who you watch sports with and most of your guy friends are holding you back from being the best version of yourself. You realize that most men suck with women and are just using male friendships to cope. In a lot of cases, unless they are helping you get better or making your life easier, most male friends are a waste of time.
You start to get better at seeing everyone’s real agenda, especially those of other men.
I remember a date I once had in NYC where we were at a bar and this guy struck up a conversation with me. I was wearing Ralph Lauren boots he liked and I thanked him but then he kept on trying to talk to me. Being the unaware rookie I was, I entertained the conversation and he started talking to me and my girl. Then he flirted with my date in front of me and I was dumbfounded.
Thankfully, my date was a cool girl who rejected his further advances. The guy then shifted to talking to me but I ignored him classily and went back to my date. Even though it didn’t end in a disaster, I learned fast. The more dates I had and the prettier women I had them with, I realized that men that would otherwise not acknowledge me started to become buddy-buddy. Unlike the old me, I started to pick up on this fast and realized what their true agendas were.
