Due to recently joining a community, I have had the chance to connect with guys who are doing well in life and with women. While some of these guys make do with dating apps and cold approaches, others have a lifestyle set up where they meet women from that lifestyle itself. One such guy I met gets paid to host swimsuit contests and photograph models. We also have a guy in our community who has a huge list of Au Pairs that he calls to house parties himself.
The past week, one of the guys was throwing an event in Miami that had IG models flying over from all over the country. We will call this guy Bob even though that is not his real name. Bob splits his time between Vegas and Miami and was good friends with Dan Bilzerian way back in the day. In fact, Bob had a role in helping introduce Dan to a lot of girls that you commonly see in his pics. Tickets for Bob’s events were reasonably priced for an event of its caliber so I went.
In the past, I have had my opinions on social circle game but this was different. My perception of social circle game was you make friends and hope they introduce you to women. What Bob did was different, he had a lot of status that he built up over the years and women gravitated towards him because of that. The work that Bob put in put him in a place where he was able to invite a ton of models out and charge what would be a high price for an average guy to come to his event.
It was right after dinnertime and I headed over to the event that Bob invited us to. One of my friends was a bit late so I waited for him. My friend finally shows up and we go to the event itself. I noticed that it was a lot of Instagram model tier girls that were having photos taken and overheard a lot of guys that seemed to work in more nerdy/STEM type of fields.
I tried to talk to a couple of the women but it seemed a lot like a nightclub or any bar. The women themselves were not that easy to talk to compared to any other nightlife venue but the quality itself was much higher. A couple of the girls there I knew work as bottle girls over at LIV. One recognized me so I talked to her and she had her model Brazilian friend as well.
We chatted for a solid thirty minutes or so having a great time as another girl also joined in. A handful of girls, really hot, were drunk and loud. To my surprise, Bob did not hesitate for a second to have security kick them out and these girls were surprised that he did. Usually, they could get away with this shit at a party because they are hot girls but Bob was different.
“Bob does not play,” said the LIV girl.
“I am guessing that is not your first time at his party,” I replied.
“Oh no, Bob throws these sorts of things everywhere but mainly in Miami and Vegas,” she replied.
“These sorts of things?” I asked.
“Yeah, he helps a lot of girls get clout on Instagram and a lot of aspiring models want to come to his event to meet photographers, talent agents, and just to say that they were there because of the reputation they have. We came because he makes the guys pay and it beats having to deal with some drunk at a club who won’t leave you alone,” she said, laughing.
“Here you only get the rich dorks,” I teased as her Brazilian friend laughed.
“I feel like here we get guys that know how to act since they have to pay to get in and it is an exclusive event, Bob picks his friends carefully so we trust that,” she replied.
The women would tell me about how they felt safer and more secure at Bob’s events than they would at a nightclub. The value they got was that they get to meet others trying to make it in social media and modeling like they are so it felt almost like some fun networking event.
The guys at the event.
If there is one thing that felt different about the event, it was the vibe of the men there. At most nightlife venues, the men are usually combative and confrontational. At Bob’s event, most men seemed to be happy and content. I noticed guys were cool with buying me a drink and giving me space at a bar if I needed it. The vibe was a lot more different than a typical competitive nightclub.
I made small talk with some black dude with dreads who was trying to be a musician and added him on Spotify. We would go over and talk to a couple of Scandinavian girls which went well enough for us. The brunette in the group that I talk to is really into me and gets touchy but I cannot help yet feel as if it’s fabricated. We chat for a bit and she tells me about her experiences in different US cities and how she misses LA.
I ask her why and she tells me that LA is the perfect medium between NYC and Miami for her. In NYC, the guys never talk to women and are shy. In Miami, the guys are overly aggressive and forward. I joke and tell her “oh well we didn’t mean to be the 10th group of guys to scare you today”, she has a sense of humor about it and tells me “only the fifth”.
We walk around and then a couple more women come into the group, both blondes and both hot. It is a good time to notice that the girls outnumber the guys in the venue by a lot. Not only do the girls outnumber the guys by a lot but almost every single girl outside of a couple is hot. The girls that are not hot are clearly the ones who paid to get in and were either the SO of a guy there or the fat friend of one of the hot girls. Compared to a typical nightclub and a typical bar, it was significantly better.
My wing and I kept talking to the Scandinavian girl and her group. The vibe was different than it would be at a bar or nightclub. At nightclubs, when the larger group comes, it is usually a way for a girl to tell the random guy she is talking to that he can fuck off. The groups are unwelcoming and hostile but here, it was different, they were actually quite open. I talked to others in the group and got their IGs, including that of the girl.
Female behavior at the event.
I am not going to say that women at this event were more approachable, a lot of them seemed to be there to chase clout. Rejections did happen and they happened to me a couple of times. Earlier in the night, I tried to talk to this hot blonde who blew me off. For any guy looking to go to these sorts of events, do not expect most women to give a warm welcome. I’d say women in many ways are just like women you run into at nightclubs in these sorts of events.
However, the difference I noticed was that when you did talk to girls that were receptive to you, there were not as many barriers. You could talk to her for quite some time and didn’t have to worry about a random guy stealing your set or her uglier friends trying to cockblock you. Once the women at these events talk to you, they are down for longer conversations.
The other expectation I would tell guys to have is not to pull from these events that night. It seems like the guys who do this for a while will often add a girl on IG and play the long game. A lot of these guys will keep running into the girls due to going to the same events and then at some point, when the timing is right and they have gotten familiar with her, they will have sex. A typical night game spammer will not do well at these sorts of events.
Overall vibe and beyond game.
For years, I used to think that game was just hitting on as many women as possible and getting laid. At some point, I started to wonder if there was more to game. One of my friends had a birthday party years ago and he asked each of us to bring a girl. I noticed that neither my wing nor I had the kind of game to where we could ask a hot girl to come to a party with her and bring her friends. To think, we thought we had “game” but all we had been doing was spamming girls and hoping one was desperate enough.
If we were to try and throw a party, there is no way we could get the numbers we got at the time to show up. At that point, I realized that whatever I was doing, needed some work. Unfortunately, pickup or PUA does not teach this. They teach you how to spam with canned lines and then push for the lay but that is it. Overtime, just getting laid becomes overrated.
There is more power and more fun in being able to go out to a nightclub with her and her friends. In my life, when I experienced being one of the very few guys in a large group of girls that we went out to the club with, I almost saw nightgame through a different lens. I saw how much nicer the staff were, how desperate other guys looked approaching, and how much more attention we got from other women as a result.
It poked at my past insecurity about having missed out. I wasn’t just bitter or upset at not getting laid in my high school days, I was also bitter and upset at not getting invited to the coolest parties. I was bitter and upset at not feeling like I was part of a higher-status group. In a way, it was like the cool kids were off having their fun and I was the other.
Sure, getting laid helped me ease some of those things in the past that I missed out on but not everything. In some ways, I found that getting laid was just a bandaid to the situation. I may have addressed one part of missing out but not all of it. PUAs and guys that only do cold approach are still seeing as the same quirky loser outcasts in adulthood that they were in their youth.
Being at this event, talking to hot girls, and that exclusivity feeling had a regenerative type of effect on me. Other guys, including those who peaked earlier in life, will not get to experience this. Even the best high school or frat party in college cannot rival the quality we saw. You were almost living in another world and being the popular kids of the adult world. It’s like high school never ended but who the cool kids were changed.
4 thoughts on “The Bachelor gets a taste of social circle game.”
“Unfortunately, pickup or PUA does not teach this. They teach you how to spam with canned lines and then push for the lay but that is it. Overtime, just getting laid becomes overrated.”
I have heard the story from “James Marshall” similar to yours where the host would invite models over. The vibe sounds the same as you describe.
“PUAs and guys that only do cold approach are still seeing as the same quirky loser outcasts in adulthood that they were in their youth.”
I figure you have to do/learn online game, day game, night game?
I’m new here; I just clicked on your link because I wanted to find out the styles of Todd V & Austen Summers. New reader here for sure. Long story short I have problems financially to leave on my own and recently decided to pull the trigger on starting a marketing business. I’ve known about Todd and Austen for a long time, even took coaching from Todd too, great shit.
Congratulations on starting your new business. I do encourage you to live on your own first or with roommates around your age before you delve into game though.
Imo this kind of social game really is the end goal of all the seduction stuff.
Through daygame, it is really difficult to date “9s and 10s”, simply because there aren’t that many on the street at any time of the day and because they have 100 other options and understandably flake on a random guy.
Same holds for nightgame and I won’t even get into online dating.
Now, should everyone start doing social circle game to get “9s and 10s”? Definitely hard no. A random guy doesn’t have these girls in his social circle (or he wouldn’t be here on this website), and for sure he doesn’t have the skills to get them into his social circle (let alone seduce them, ha!).
I think it is crucial to start with day- and nightgame. You have to experience abundance first with the 7s and 8s (I hate these numbers but it brings the point across). Work on other areas (style, fitness, coolness, all these things..). As you get damn good, you can start inviting these girls (and their girlfriends!) over to (your own) events where you invite guys you know that are 100% cool. Inviting the wrong guy can totally ruin the vibe (I think MB wrote a post about this). Make an awesome Instagram (also recent post on here) and start making friends with really hot girls and add them to your IG. Throw parties and make sure these girls bring their hot friends. Have your cool friends also bring 2-3+ hot girls and you have your own small version of the story above. Do this for 2+ years full-time and you have the full story above (I am making it sound too simple now haha).
I see daygame as a means and not as an end. 100x this for nightgame (when you 40 years, you gonna stand in a club spam approaching the hot girls? No please). Best is to get damn good with girls to the point that girls love to spend time with you (not because you try to fuck them all, but simply because you give them a great evening/experience, or at least better than their other options for that evening).
Note that this is definitely not for everyone. It not only requires you to get good at social freedom (most guys already fail here), but also work on so many other areas in your life. In the end, one might wonder if the end goal really is fucking so many hot women, or if it is creating and sharing awesome experiences with other high value people, but I will save that for another time ;).
Beautifully written and I like it. I think daygame and nightgame will always remain because social circles CAN fall apart and they can have their setbacks. However, you cannot rely on them solely and pickup teaches game wrong. It teaches men to only chase after the lay and then forget about her which is an empty and meaningless existence. That is why so many pickup guys burn out and lead depressing lives.
You always have to have cold approach as a skill you can get back to at any point in your life if need be. It is a repeatable skill that you can use to build circles everywhere. However, it cannot be a life where you spam with the hopes of getting laid.