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Cold approach is dead but you can still talk to women.

After a year of consistently doing daygame, I have come to the conclusion that cold approach is dead. While I have had success with daygame itself, I still hold the view that in this day and age, the cold approach is dead. Cold approach meaning you go up to random women you do not know, talk to them, and try to get their number so you can get a date and hopefully more. Yes, it is all about you.

Women in big cities are fed up.

Too many pickup artists and scammy coaches move their bootcamps to big cities that are known for having hot women. I have Hungarian and Polish friends that tell me about how pickup coaches have ruined entire cities and made local women far more standoffish as a result. Miami is no exception to the rule, women here are fed up with the countless clowns that come at them with spammy lines. The same clowns that must do over 30 approaches to prove that they are “taking action”.

We saw it with the Toronto Mall debacle where women were scared for their lives because of a bunch of creeps coming on to them. Society is fed up and women are fed up with creepy low-value guys harassing then on the streets. Women are fed up with men that spam the same pickup line over and over and over and over again hoping that something sticks. It is low-value behavior that may have paid off a decade ago but is now officially dead. Women have encountered it and seen it, it is worthless.

If women have not encountered it themselves, they have talked to others that have. Women have heard horror stories about pickup and street harassment themselves. Media is making an effort to let women know of creepy and low-value men that want to harass them on the streets. The same “you’re cute” or whatever spammy gimmick the idiots telling you to do 30+ approaches a day are saying is not going to fly.

I have seen it for myself. I have seen men that go out, day after day (“taking action”), and then have little to show for it. Some of these men do this for years but are still no better off than they started. In fact, most have had other areas of their life suffer because they just had to “take action” by spamming the streets of their city with the same approaches. Some even drive out for over an hour from their mom’s house so they can “take action”.

Women are afraid and steer clear of these men. A lot of women in big cities have become very intuitive on this and will immediately turn away from such men. You see these men even head out in large groups of their “wings” from their pickup forum and chat. I have talked to mall owners who have encountered PUAs and have told me they make it an effort to ban such men from their malls.

Most men who do “cold approach” are abysmal at it.

In over a year, I have winged with enough guys to know that they have no idea of what they are doing. The lines are practically the same. It is the same spammy opener meant to go after over 40 women in a day and hope that one is nice enough to give them a fake number. I have had some of these losers as my wingmen and had to quickly cut ties.

You see them troll the streets of a major city “taking action”. Then, after a while, they get frustrated and start blaming the city, its people, and its women. All the while, being too naive and out of touch to realize that the way they are coming off (and who they are) is the problem. Then they have their little cliques to tell them they are “the man” for “taking action”.

Yeah, you just harassed over 40 women with the same canned pickup line for an entire day and you are “the man”. This is low-value spammy behavior and most of all, it is lazy. Literally anyone can go out if you give them a line, spam over 40 women with it in a day, and then maybe get some numbers. A robot could do that!

Worst of all, these guys are a nuisance. You will see them standing in a woman’s way as she is trying to get to places. You will see them interrupting women who are on their phone. You will see them chase after women who have made it clear that they are not interested. You will see them run after women as others in the area look on in disgust (because it is indeed creepy).

But you can STILL talk to women.

Cold approach is dead because it was not valuable for the end-buyer, the woman herself! It was selfish. The spammy pickup guy who has made nothing out of his life feels entitled to a number, date, and more but what does she get? Some loser who doesn’t have his life together and is using gimmicky spam approaches to cover up for his otherwise sorry excuse of a life? It was bound to fail as a gimmick.

So don’t cold approach, aim for a value-driven interaction. I am not even sure what I want to label it now but I will eventually come up with a name for it.

You can talk to women you do not know in public as long as you are not a nuisance and actually add value to her day. These interactions are different from cold approach because you are not just going up to any and every approachable woman and using the same spammy opener in the hopes that you get lucky. Instead, you are doing the reverse. You are being choosy in the women you do go for and doing significantly less approaches as a result.

Instead of spam approaching over 40 different women and being yet another pickup artist that ruins the area, you approach maybe 1/4th the women but make every approach count. Every interaction is unique, it is not some spammy canned “pickup”. It is done with the intention of making her day better and making her feel good about the fact that she even interacted with you.

You also pay attention to social norms and don’t become a nuisance. You don’t stand in her path when she is trying to get to places. You don’t bother her when she is on her phone. You don’t keep trying to “power through” a rejection like an idiot that had to go on CNN because he was the most hated man in the world for harassing women at one point.

Because if you do not offer value, you are going to get toast in this environment.

I have seen it. I have seen guys who “take massive action” by doing tons of approaches in the day but have little to show for it. I have seen guys that jump from one city to the next but the underlying theme is always the same, given city has some issue that stops them from getting women. Never was it their poor approach or their weird antics towards women. I have seen these men blame the city and find flaws in the women but somehow, never magically in their underperforming selves.

If women do not see a reason around why their day gets better after talking to you, then you are a nuisance.

You become a valuable guy by having something unique and authentic to go at women you are genuinely attracted to with. You don’t use the same canned lines or anything of the sort, you have a conversation with a stranger that you are interested in, that’s it. The goal of the conversation is to make their day better and to make them feel good about the fact that they spoke to a stranger.

The kind of guy that does that is a value-driven guy who wants others to see the benefit of having interacted with him. Not some spammy pickup guy.

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